What wild song is singing through you? It seems that has always been the real question. What does this or that mean, what is life’s purpose,
what am I screaming with my life, my choices, my behavior?
Do I simply want someone to listen, or to truly hear me? Do I wish to bring to light the darkest parts of life that others shy away from? Do I want to assert my right to be here and be who I am? Do I even know who I am? Most days I do not.
Do I need help, or am I warning others? What is it in me that feels the need to sing so loudly my own voice through words, action and inaction? I believe a great deal of it (if not all of it) is fear. Fear of not being good enough, pretty enough, cool enough. Fear of being left behind. Fear of being misunderstood or judged; but most of all, fear of being damaged, broken and utterly unloveable. I’m afraid no one needs me, wants me, or loves me. I’m afraid that I don’t love myself.
So I suppose my solution has become to sing wildly so that the world and more importantly, myself, will be reminded that I am here, I am important and I am loveable.
Art: Hearts on Fire, TD