Freedom from the Walls Within
I want to bear freedom into my life!
From all emotional ties, to the man I promised forever,
from the invisible bars that hold me into this toxic environment,
freedom to be alone,
without pain, to live in happiness.
The risk that I must take could cost me him forever
and I don’t think I’ll feel this way forever.
The support I need is friendship.
Unfortunately, there’s nothing that can be done about my incarceration.
It is my own fault, I put myself here.
Here is where I shall remain ‘til I pay my dues
for the crimes I committed. Honestly,
I have more to worry about than the girls
the talk in these concrete walls. Like how
I’m gonna free myself from the emotional storm inside my heart
causing icy cold walls to protect my heart, shutting the storm in
and everyone else out. I know this is not healthy.
But I’m scared to be hurt.
It’s better to be alone than let someone in
who’s gonna burn your world apart, leaving nothing
but ashes, a bandaged heart ready to fall apart.
It is better to feel nothing at all (numbness) than a broken heart.
In the end, I’m broken either way.
Alone I shall remain, a beautiful monster in every single way
living in just another corrupt place.